Funeral Faux Pas

Went to a viewing tonight for one of my co-workers (Donna) whose mom died after a 4-year battle with ovarian cancer. Her mom was pretty young to die, only like 55 or 56.  Donna’s my age, she’s beautiful, over 6 feet tall I bet, she’s super-nice, she’s got a really nice boyfriend and they have a house, a dog, and plans to eventually marry. 
Tonight at the viewing I was talking to Donna and her boyfriend and Donna was saying how she regretted that her mom never got to see any of her kids (Donna has a sister and a brother) get engaged or get married or have grandchildren for her.  Of course, I agreed, that is sad but also of course, I said, it’s not something that Donna should beat herself up for. I mean, we all would like to see a lot of things happen and I’m sure her mom was just happy to have such a nice family.  And we all three agreed that it wasn’t anything that Donna or her boyfriend or her siblings should feel bad about.
But then a few minutes later, these two women who had worked w/ Donna’s mom came up and started talking to Donna about her mom and the one woman started talking about how Donna’s mom would always talk about how much she wanted Donna to get engaged to her boyfriend. And she kept going on about it for like 3 or 4 minutes. To Donna’s face and in front of her boyfriend. Until finally Donna started to get choked up about it and the women apologized by saying, oh, she probably shouldn’t have brought it up but then wasn’t finished until she had made Donna promise to let her know as soon as she got a ring. Oh. my. word. Can you be any more insensitive?  I mean, you don’t do that kind of thing at any time, let alone when the person’s mom is lying stone dead in a coffin in the other room.  It was so horrible and tacky. I felt really bad for Donna.  Esp. when she’d just been talking about it as one of her sadnesses.
And then my coordinator came and he said he’d just been at a viewing with the adult ed program director whose brother had died. he had been shot by a neighbor who got fed up with the brother’s dog coming into his yard. first he shot the dog, then he shot the brother.  I know it’s Kentucky, but still.  horrible.
All in all, not a very encouraging night.


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