Over the river and through the woods

to Grandmother’s house we go

Or at least to Miles’s grandmother’s house for the rest of the week.

And since my computer is STILL in the shop and Troy ‘needs’ his to watch dvds ‘study’ and my mom’s is broken, too, that means i won’t have a computer for a whole week

Oh, the inhumanity of it all! 

girl-crying_l.jpg

Maybe by the time we come back, Miles will have gotten in that little tooth that is hovering down at gum level right now. It’s a sharp little bugger and frankly I would be  A LOT crankier than he seems to generally be if I were him.  I’m a lot crankier in general anyway and I don’t have any sharp tooth edges sawing their way into my mouth.

Please don’t do anything fun without me while I’m gone, ‘k? thx.

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Open Letter on the Topic of Your Fireworks Shenanigans

Dear Idiot:

To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to our attention that you lack a brain have some difficulty with your calender-reading abilities. For example, last night you were perhaps under the impression that it was the Fourth of July. Your outrageous, extensive, loud and intensely angering vigorous and energetic imbecilic patriotic displays last night lead us also to believe that perhaps you are under the mistaken impression that you are the fire department and are therefore in fact qualified and indeed obligated to provide fireworks displays in your backyard that rival the city’s own display.

You are not, however, the fire department. I doubt that you are even any kind of pyrotechnics expert. What you ARE is an (insert expletive here) idiot who is under the impression that the Fourth, like Christmas, ought to be celebrated with as much gusto as possible as EARLY as possible and to that I must say that you, sir, are an ass.

May the restless awakening of every teething baby who has ever lived and who has been woken from a sound slumber by firework rockets that shook their house be upon your head for ever more and may all your fingers fall off and your eyebrows be irrevocably singed.

Truly and sincerely pissed off at you yours,

Mama of Miles

Something That Wakes Up Teething Infants

Nine In, Nine Out

Happy birthday to Baby Miles who has now been out in the world for as long as he was in his mama’s tummy.

For his birthday we:

1) melted the Polar ice caps

and

2) went to the Holy Trinity-St. Nicolas Greek Fest Panegyri, where we immediately grew a lot of black hair and took a nap

and

3) had a bath

Somebody who is Nine Months Old

Unimpressed

by the recent Supreme Court decisions.

Hi, we’re the Supreme Court Justices and we recognize the fact that the gun lobby is really powerful and that we live in a gun culture / vigilante society, so you know what?  It IS the individual’s right to own a powerful piece of equipment that can annihilate or at least cause a slow and traumatic death or at least cause grave, permanent injury to entire rooms of employees or college students or high school students or, you know, whatever, because we really don’t care about them, we mostly care about interpreting a law that could go either way in the direction that will get us in good with the NRA.  (Too bad about Charleton, though. We were kind of hoping he could pull some strings and get us our own movie series…maybe Planet of the Judges or something like that. Kinda has a ring… we could be this ruling elite, see, and then…)

And, big ol’ muddle that I am, my ‘liberal’ views on guns are offset by my conservative views about the death penalty…because who SAYS death is a cruel and unusual punishment for someone who would rape a child?  Sounds about right to me.  But then I’m slightly biased by being a parent. I do know that I would cheerfully and slowly rip the limbs off any person who did that to MY child or any child that I know, in fact.  That’s not DEATH, though, so maybe that will be ok with the Justices.

And that’s my Rage Against the Supreme Court for the day.

Tip of the Day

When using that pre-made curry paste that one bought with which to create a tasty and delightful yet not spicy meal of chicken curry that one’s almost-nine-month old will also enjoy because of his fondness for curry, let it herein be noted that using the 6 – 8 tablespoons as directed in the DIRECTIONS will probably create a far better and must less salty version of the curry for which one is aiming than using the ENTIRE JAR.

Pataks Curry Paste Mild 10oz

Very Salty When Used in Entirety

Ethical Dilemma

When I was in the parking lot at the SuperMega Home/Construction Superstore today, a young Philipinna came up to me and started asking me for a donation to support some kind of missions work.  I always get a bit confused when faced with this kind of thing because my desire to help conflicts with my desire to not give money when I feel like I’m being put on the spot and pressured to do so.  In the end, usually I do give a bit.

In this case I did not.

As she handed me her little card with all the information about how they were helping the women of the Philippines do something or other positive and beneficial and avoid a life of poverty and/or being forced to go marry a man from another country in hopes of a better life, in the midst of all this, I noticed that her organization bore the name of Sun Myung Moon.

Now, I am sorry if you are a member of the Unification Church, indeed I have nothing against the church itself, but for me, anyone who not only proclaims but crowns himself ‘humanity’s Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and Parent’ is kind of, well, a High-Order Crazy Whacked-Out Lunatic of the First Craziness Degree. 

(On the other hand, I guess he is just a pretty typical business man of his particular generation but with enough money to indulge his ego, his fantasies and his assumption that the world revolves around him.  i was going to go with ‘Korean’ businessman but I guess that Korea does not have the sole example of The Type.)

So I didn’t give her any money. But this is my question. I didn’t give her money because I don’t want to support such a lunatic reprehensible individual as Moon but by giving her money, would I have helped some poor Philippina partly avoid a life of poverty/marriage to some farmer out in the backwoods of a country she’s never been to before and would helping her be more important than supporting Mr. Moon’s organization?  (think I’ll go make a donation to WorldVision or something to assuage my tender feelings on this matter.)

I had to post this, as I’m sure you’ll understand

This is for those mother’s of boys, sisters of boys, and boys that have grown older. And anyone else who needs a laugh.

Why boys need parents…


 


And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like…

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words ‘uh oh’, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject ‘PB & J’ sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

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