Hello. My Name is Michele and I have a Speaking Problem: Little Secrets, Part I

Despite the melfluous fulditiy fluidity I can sometimes acheive in my writing if the person reading whatever-it-is is really drunk (Hi, my university professors!), you may be unsurprised to know that in real life (which I usually try to avoid as much as possible or at least only approach when good and liquored up) (Mom, I’m kidding), I. can’t. talk. good. 

The speaking, it is hard for me. I often wish that people could just read my thoughts to save me the effort having to form coherent, cohesive utterances. It is sometimes so much effort to talk that I just…



I have the  annoying and tedious winsome, whimsical habit of not finishing my sentences.  Sometimes, you know, it’s just too hard to get it all out at one go. So, I just…

I know it drives at least my mom crazy and probably my long-suffering husband, as well. 

But sometimes I just run out of…


Personally, I think it is even more aggravating charming when I stop speaking. And then…pause…you know, like I’m done…and then I’ll FINALLY think of the word that I was searching for (usually something difficult like ‘it’ or ‘him’) and tag it on in a kind of muttery, mumbled way because I realize, you know, that people are already 3 topics ahead and it’s kind of EMBARRASSING to finish up your sentence like 5 minutes later.

I don’t know what it is about Direct Objects, but they seem hard for me a lot.

And I really apologize to all of you upon whom I have inflicted my little problem.


Sometimes this happens to my train of thought.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. natalie
    Jul 12, 2008 @ 04:59:12

    i can be the same way sometimes. the more kids i had the more i lost most of my ability to think. now that the kids are getting older i have gained back some of that ability…it’s a good thing! they keep me on my toes!


  2. The Mom
    Jul 12, 2008 @ 10:38:08

    I never noticed your inability to talk. BUT NOW I WILL:) You have a very large vocabulary (compared to most of us) and may spend too much time trying to sort out just the precise word (such as it, him, etc.) At any rate, I’ve always understood what you’re trying to communicate. Maybe I talk that way, too, and just never realized it???

    Love the train wreck!


  3. bejewell
    Jul 12, 2008 @ 22:01:34

    Listen, it’s better than just going on, and on, and on, and on, and ON like I do. Usually without really having any idea what I’m even talking about. Charming? Ummmm, no.


  4. Lisa
    Jul 13, 2008 @ 06:06:46

    I have a problem where my head jumps across three logical connections to then send something out of my mouth that has no relevance to the conversation at hand. Everyone looks at me like I’m an alien, and then I have to explain…totally embarrassing.


  5. ~m
    Jul 13, 2008 @ 09:27:17

    You are all hilarious! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one 🙂

    I would blame the problem on Miles but it’s been this way for a lot longer than that.

    And somehow I have managed to be a fairly competent English teacher. How does THAT work?! (Maybe I’m not as competent as I think?)


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