Open Letter to Miles

My dearest boy:

You are 10 months old now and it is so hard for me to believe that in a very short time you will be 1 year old.  It has been a challenging year for me as I have tried to learn about you and about how to care for you and for you as well, as you have been trying to learn about living and life.  Those lessons are never going to stop, I think.

It has been so wonderful to watch you grow and to have you outgrow the Uber-Fussy and see you become such a happy, cheerful little guy. Your laugh makes me laugh and your smile lightens my whole day.

Since you are growing by leaps and bounds I have decided it is not too early to talk to you about Very Important Things. And the Very Important Thing that I would like to talk to you about now is: your clothes; to wit, your undergarments, vis-a-vis, your underwear.

Right now, you can certainly get away with flashing some underwear love for all the world to see. And often I will let you show off your beautiful little body to the whole world because who doesn’t love a little baby chub?

But there will come a day, perhaps sooner than I expect it, when people will no longer think it is cute to see your underwear. 

If we are so cursed as to still be languishing under the sartorial affliction that is called “hip-hop” and/or “urban” clothing, please understand right now that you will not be allowed to wear any kind of garment that forces all those round about you to see that you are, in fact, wearing boxer shorts. And you will not be allowed to wear pants around your knees covered by a long shirt to make people wonder if indeed you are wearing underwear at all.

No one cares about your underwear. In fact, they would rather not think about your underwear at all.  After about age 4, it is no longer cute for people to catch a glimpse of that unmentionable of garments.

You may dye your hair or contort it into various fantastical and unique shapes. You may acquire piercings if you are so inclined. If you wish to clutter up your skin with various graphics, please feel free.  But you are hereby now informed that your pants will be required to cover all areas that pants are worn to cover to begin with. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I love you, my Little Snort.



Dont’ let this happen. Ever.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. midwifemuse
    Aug 01, 2008 @ 16:37:13

    It must be so uncomfortable, and how do they resist the impulse to pull them up?


  2. Amberlina
    Aug 01, 2008 @ 19:38:23

    Amen, Mamacita!


  3. joz1234
    Aug 01, 2008 @ 21:03:22

    Hey at least he had underwear on! I got a full “flash” view one night in the local Walmart. Needless to say…his mom never told him this. You know, they say, communication helps to keep them from doing stuff like this…drugs, tattoos, casual sex, no underwear…I see why you are starting early. Wanna come to my house and explain to my 3 (going on 4 this month) year old that he doesn’t need to strip to his underwear and run around the house in the evening? 🙂


  4. ~m
    Aug 02, 2008 @ 13:37:03

    Joz: oh man. that is traumatizing!!! But I can’t blame your little guy for wanting to run around naked…who DOESN’T like to do that?? 😛


  5. natalie
    Aug 03, 2008 @ 08:18:34

    my boys aren’t interested in dressing like that at all! one of them i’m not worried about, but the other might actually think about it when we get back to the states. i’ll have to appease him with the hairdos!


  6. bejewell
    Aug 06, 2008 @ 15:34:49

    Why, for the love of all that is holy, WHHHYYYYYYYY???

    My eyes are burning! My eyes are burning!


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