Mrs Fussy Crankypants Shapes Up to Ship Out

Mrs. Fussy Crankypants is well-known for her excellent ability to procrastinate save things to do later.  Mrs. Fussy Crankypants is also well-known for her loathing dislike of physical exercise.  In Mrs Fussy Crankypants’s unsolicited opinion, the best form of exercise involves lifting (fairly traded) chocolate into her mouth while turning the pages of a book.

However, Mrs Fussy Crankypants also realizes that she does not want to drop dead at the age of next year because her heart has been abused and therefore, eventually, she actually does start to exercise however fitfully.

As soon as Mrs FC gets going, she comes to feel that she really DOES like exercise and wonders why she has been avoiding it all this time. This, of course, is a chemically-induced hallucination brought about by repetitive movement and lack of oxygen to the brain.

Recently, Mrs FC has realized that it has been awhile since she has gotten any kind of regular cardiovascular exercise.  As in, a really long time. As in, more than a year.  Mrs FC does not include lugging a 25 pound pre-toddler around in her arms all day as cardiovascular exercise altho she does view it as an exercise in patience.

Last week, Mrs FC bit the bullet. She put her hand to the wheel and didn’t look back. She hoed her row. She, in fact, lit a fire under her arse and got moving.  Fairly quickly, Mrs FC’s lungs were burning and her ankle that is still complete with all its hardware from its breakage several years ago was compaining fociferously.

And by that time she had just gotten the Tiny Tyrant into his stroller.

The next day, Mrs FC enlisted the aid of her good friends, the Run To Cadences: U.S. Navy

Run To Cadence United States Navy CD


Mrs FC has mentioned these guys before in an earlier post but she won’t provide you with the link to that happy story because she’s too lazy. (If you really care, you can go sift through her posts to find it.)  Mrs FC uses these cadences to help move her lazy patootie and to help her feel connected to her naval-ly relatives (Hi, B! Hi, R!).

As Mrs FC huffed and puffed along to the young and equally breathless recruits she thought that she, too, might as well join the Navy. You see, Mrs FC can’t do push-ups to save her life, it’s true (unless it involves the aforementioned chocolate being pushed up into her mouth). But, she realized she’s pretty much got everything else under her belt: 

Erratic, unpredictable nightwakings? Check.

Not calling your life your own? Check.

Always on-call? Check.

Carrying heavy loads? Check.


Recruits, let’s see you double-time while pushing 25 pounds in front of you.  You do that, then we’ll talk.

Meanwhile, Mrs FC is going to congratulate her advance toward good health and exercise with a nice dish of ice cream followed by a chaser of fair trade chocolate chips.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bejewell
    Nov 14, 2008 @ 21:49:25

    You don’t count toddler chasing as exercise? You’re nuts. I’m in the best shape of my life right now, and I don’t do a thing except chase that kid around until I’m about to pass out. It counts! It does!


    (God, please say it counts. I really don’t want to have to re-join the gym.)


  2. natalie
    Nov 15, 2008 @ 02:46:44

    i am counting down the days until i get to the states. one of the things i am going to do there is join a small gym and have a fitness plan set up for me. houston in the winter is nice so between the gym and the sun i should be a goddess in no time. that is if the texmex and american junk food don’t get me first!


  3. ~m
    Nov 16, 2008 @ 11:08:36

    Beej: he’s still just crawling so i’m not moving that fast to catch him. just wait till he starts walking and yeah, it’s going to be the Toddler-catching Work-out, that’s for sure!

    Natalie: mmmm, texmex! how about an eating and sunning plan instead of a fitness plan? gotta keep your emotional fitness, you know!


  4. The Mom
    Nov 17, 2008 @ 09:10:53

    On Saturday I spent just 9 hours lugging, lifting, and crawling after your not-yet-walking toddler. I haven’t been THAT worn-out since we retired from the lawn-mowing business:) So, believe me, you DO work out EVERY DAY!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: