For T

Dear T,

I have just finished my work for the evening..  You are upstairs with the Tyrant getting him ready to get his bath after entertaining/cajoling him to eat ever since you got home.  

It seems to happen every day.  You come home from work and…I hand you the baby.  Sometimes we eat together, sometimes not. I miss hanging out with you, eating dinner, maybe watching a DVD. Now it is the constant and non-stop give, give, give of life with a toddler.

You never complain. While I never mean for you to have to take completely over, you often do and without a complaint. You never complain about the upheaved state of the house or my constant worrying about this, that or the other irrelevancy or the way you are the babysitter from the time you come home until the Tyrant’s bedtime. I’m sure you are tired. I’m sure there are lots of other things you would rather do sometimes.

You come home and cajole the Tyrant to eat and play with him after dinner and  take him upstairs and get his jammies ready and sit with him while he plays endlessly in his bath until he is a light shade of bluey-purple and icicles hang from his ears. You get him dried and lathered in lotion (no easy task with a squirmy-wormy like him) and endure his cacophanous din of protestion regarding all things diaper and/or cloth-putting-on-ing.

You do so much without complaining about it. You put up with us both and I know that, like the song says, it’s sometimes

“more out of duty than pleasure, but out of pleasure nonetheless”

I appreciate how much and how often you go the extra mile with your meticulous record and financial skillz, your attention to detail that keeps us all out of the wrack and ruin that would ensue if I were left to my own devices, your extraordinary patience with your dear little son, the one who drives you nuts and wrings your heart out with his enormous smile, your aggravating (as it puts me to shame) yet very-appreciated mantra of cleanliness being next to godliness as you wield mop, sponge and vacuum without fail each weekend whether or not it is needed not to mention the willingness to forego a sound night’s sleep night after night as you walk, pat, shush and sometimes get up and play with the Tiny Tyrant who, lo, sleepeth not so well.  Putting gas in my car, de-icing it that one day after the ice storm, babysitting while I run to get coffee errands, babysitting while I get out for a little while, cleaning the cat boxes when I haven’t gotten to them yet, suffering my long list of “things I haven’t gotten to yet”…

The list goes on and on but you get the idea and everyone else reading this has gone away already.

So since they are gone and it’s just  you and me, I want to say that, despite us hardly getting a chance to connect and being sleep deprived and communicating in short simple sentences and sometimes in sign language, you are still my soulmate, the one I emotionally curl my heart around, my teammate in the game of living, my strong support and my good friend.

Thank you for all you do.

I love you.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bejewell
    Feb 10, 2009 @ 22:56:36

    Oh my god can I have him?



  2. The Mom
    Feb 11, 2009 @ 17:11:21

    I say it yet again – WHAT A MAN!!! (and son-in-law)


  3. Auds at Barking Mad
    Feb 18, 2009 @ 15:40:10

    This is absolutely beautiful. What an amazing tribute to what must surely be a wonderful husband and father.


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