Loser

When Mrs Fussy Crankypants was gestating the Tiny Tyrant aka Master Fussy Crankypants packed on close to 40 pounds.  Granted, 9 lbs 7 oz of that was Tiny Tyrant (as the reader can see, the Tyrant was tyrannical even before he was born), an undetermined amount was attributable to water retention and the rest, thanks to the evolutionary (or God-given, as you will) design of maternal fat storage to ensure adequate survival of both mother and infant in the case of chocolate food shortages, was good old-fashioned, evolutionary (or God-given) weight.

HOWEVER, just as hope springs anew in, well, Spring, so too does fat eventually disappate where there is a sufficient amount of effort (and by “effort”, Mrs FC means “often not having enough time to eat”).  Mrs FC was happy (and by “happy” Mrs FC means “speechless in rapturous joy”) to discover that she has lost all the evolutionary/God-given fat storage that she had amassed (the emphasis being on “mass), that her pre-Tyrant pants now fit (albeit not in quite the same way, but they do not cut off circulation around her waist so that is something) and she has only 8 pounds to lose before she hits her normal weight (because she went and GAINED weight before gestation, which is, as we all know, extremely foolish).

Mrs FC attributes her weight loss success to  30 pounds of toddler constantly wanting up and down, the occasional missing of meals due to time constraints, and attendance at the Y several times a week during which she uses the treadmill as an excuse to watch TLC’s What Not to Wear while enjoying some Tyrant-free time puts all her effort into using the treadmill.

This is the one instance in which Mrs FC does not mind admitting she really is a loser.

Advertisements

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amberlina
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 20:00:11

    I’m so proud of what a big loser you are.

    NOW, what are we going to do about MY 30 pounds, none of which is attributable to a tiny tyrant? I’m going to go vacuum some of it off right now. (And, by that, I mean I am going to use the vacuum on my floor and call it exercise, NOT I’m going to have fat vacuumed out, though it sounds tempting.)

    Reply

  2. The Mom
    Mar 17, 2009 @ 10:46:20

    You go, girl! Congratulations! Reward yourself with a mound of chocolate:)

    Reply

  3. Sharon
    Mar 18, 2009 @ 11:24:34

    Absolutely awesome. I, on the other hand, abandoned my self-imposed nutritional restrictions vis-a-vis sweets for just one week and GAINED FIVE POUNS IN JUST ONE WEEK. Maybe weight is never truly lost. Maybe it’s just shifted from one person to the next sucker willing to take it on!

    Reply

  4. ~m
    Mar 21, 2009 @ 12:35:51

    Amber, I recommend vaccuuming w/ a 30 # weight held in one arm. Pick it up for 5 minutes and put it down for 30 seconds and pick it back up again through your whole day. U’ll lose weight FAST.

    Mom, I’m thinking a mound of Grater’s ice cream.

    Sharon, I believe that, just as matter is neither lost nor created, so are the pounds. i’d rather my pounds were elsewhere however. maybe on my husband; he could bear the transfer of a few pounds.

    Reply

  5. Lisa
    Mar 23, 2009 @ 12:03:12

    Not really on topic, but I’m catching up on blog reading instead of working this morning…oops, probably shouldn’t admit that ;^)

    anyway, this reminded me of a friend saying recently that they needed to lose 30 different pounds, and not the same 3 pounds 10 times in a row.

    I’m nowhere really on my path toward 50 less pounds, but have changed some bad habits & will be adding exercise now that the weather is getting better. Fingers crossed!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: