So many thoughts are in my head lately but I lack the interest and time to write them down. Plus I doubt that they are of any interest to anyone else.

Consider this my diary post.

You’ve been warned.

1)  Only one showing this week despite the fact that the house was empty of  humans all week.  One showing. Got good feedback from it and were told the house made this individual’s “short list” but haven’t heard anything since then.

We are faced with the appalling prospect of having to pay both a mortgage and rent.  It is such a shocking waste of money, it seems to me right now but options are few.  I should just be thankful that we would have the wherewithall to manage that for a little while, even if it means belt-tightening.  By which I mean, of course, Kroger’s instant coffee as opposed to, say, a fair-trade, organic brew…

2)  I have been thinking so much about how the present way in which we live is so abnormal: our individual little houses with their small families and their heating and cooling systems, our daily bathing and hyped-up, steroidal hygiene rituals, our cheap and abundant food that is so unhealthy both for us and for the planet, our fossil-fuel guzzling chariots, the things we buy or do or ingest without any thought at because  that is how everyone else does it and that is how we were raised.

At no other time in human history has our species enjoyed such a period of creature comfort.

And, here is the point:  things have only been this way a few generations.  We think of it as the status quo, but it is not.  In fact I wonder how much longer it will be sustained, this unsustainable way of living.  Things will change, they must. They physically cannot go on like this.  Which generation will see this, I wonder?  Will it be for those of us alive now, and we’ll complain and moan about our “fate” or will our children’s children be living with less?

We call it progress but it is   just change.  So many of the skills that are truly necessary for survival have been lost in just a few generations.  If I had to forage for dinner, I could not do it. I don’t know how to skin an animal and use its hide for clothing. I don’t know which herbs heal and which ones hurt.  I don’t know how to make a fire without matches.  What use is it that I have traveled around the world or that I have higher education (for which I am still paying, or rather my husband is)?  If the system we are so used to, so familiar with, take for granted so much broke tomorrow, would I be able to keep my family alive?  Not without help. 

Someone once said to me that humans are resourceful so we’ll be able to find solutions for the problems that face us.  The solutions are there, actually:  change the way we live, the way we get around, the way we eat, WHAT we eat. Come to grips with the fact that we cannot keep up this farcical lifestyle very much longer without major changes. The problem is that humans are not, in fact, given to change. We are creatures of habit who change only when the change is forced upon us, oftentimes in times of crisis.

Sorry for the gloom and doom. If you are still reading this, well, thanks.  It’s just my thoughts, really.

I try to make changes. I obsess about water usage (just ask Troy.  He’d be happy to tell you how much I do), about finding ways to save energy, about finding foods and food sources that are humane, healthy and have lower environmental impact than agribusiness foods or processed foods.  Yes, it costs money but our society spends so little on food, so much less than other societies to, because of the unnaturally low prices for mass-produced, toxic goods.

I better stop.  There’s still more. maybe i’ll write it out later but i’m sure it’s of no interest to you. and that’s ok, that’s fine, this is just for me to get it out of my head.

and finally

3) I had fun with my mom this past week and drank far too many sugary coffee-based frou-frou drinks but since my frou-frou coffee-based drink imbibing days are numbered, it was fun.  And also we bought groceries at the local Korean store for a Korean family that now goes to my mom’s church and that was fun.  Adn the ajuma at the grocery store was nice and I wanted to be back in Korea but I contented myself with buying a package of got gam (dried persimmon).  And also the main library there has an amazing kids’ area and we went there twice because it was so nice.

4) And also, Miles is cutting his last set of teeth now and if I told you how very, very much I want the teething thing to be over it would still not be adequate to express my feelings on the subject so I won’t.

5)  that’s all


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Emily
    Oct 03, 2009 @ 12:14:41

    I am in total agreement with you on #2, hence the reason for these things in our lives I’m in the process of changing up. I am heavily burdened about the lack of resources in our lives and that our children think that our food comes from Kroger or Aldi or Walmart. I desire deeply to learn how to live off the land, homestead and be resourceful (and would love to learn to forage too!).

    I am determined to change that in my children and if that means I’m the “weird one” then I’m okay with that. I support and appreciate your sharing your thoughts and would love to hear more!


    • ~m
      Oct 03, 2009 @ 18:18:38

      Emily, I know we are kindred spirits on that front. It’s kind of an intuitive thing. I actually didn’t even articulate my feeling that modern society is not necessarily “progressive” until I read The Politics of Breastfeeding, when she challenged that notion as well. All I knew was that I have always felt like I was born in the wrong era, like I’d have been better suited to life on a farm in the 1800 or early 1900s! All the skills that those people had and took for granted and I can’t do a one of them. I have no idea how to weave cloth let alone card wool or spin yarn (altho I would like to learn!)!


      • Emily
        Oct 04, 2009 @ 15:25:43

        I also think that’s what sparked alot of these thoughts in me…well not sparked but defined them. I’ve felt this way for some time but wasn’t able to put my finger on it and now that I’ve read the book, industrialization doesn’t seem like such a great thing after all. Sure it has some benefits but overall it seems more damaging than not. It makes me want to move to a third world country and live off the land for some time and learn some skills with my hands. I’m intrigued by living in the 18th and 19th centuries as well as early 1900s. I would gladly give up all my worldly possessions that I own today for a more simple, uncluttered and unplugged lifestyle. I would gladly give it all up if it meant that I was going to gain life skills that would teach me to survive off the land if need be. Sometimes I want to move to the side of a mountain and homestead there, away from everything, and really learn about the abundance we’ve been given through nature without having to depend on Walmart being a hop, skip and jump away. I suppose I’ll just get as close to it as possible in making the changes I’m making, and hope my children learn from watching. I’m glad I’m not alone!

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