Open Letter to the Idiot Who Almost Made Mrs Fussy Crankypants Smash Into Him Because He Doesn’t Know How To Drive in the Snow

Dear Idiot:

It came rapidly to Mrs Fussy Crankypants’ (aka, Grumpy Pregnant Woman) attention that you do not know how to drive in the snow.

Let’s have a little basic science lesson to ameliorate this situation, shall we?

“Snow” (that white stuff that falls from the sky; look around you, there’s a bit right now on the ground) is a kind of frozen water that falls onto the ground when it is very cold during the winter. This “snow” has a detrimental (“detrimental” means “bad”) effect on driving because it “interferes” (“interferes” means “messes with”) with “friction”.

“Friction” is a natural force that helps your car start, continue and stop.  So if “snow” “interferes” with “friction”, THAT means you can’t start, continue or stop as quickly (“quickly” means “fast”) as when it is not “snowy”.

So, when there is “snow” on the street, and you are trying to gun it across five lanes of traffic because you don’t want to wait and sit there spinning  your wheels in the “snow” while Mrs Fussy Crankypants (aka, Grumpy Pregnant Woman) heads straight toward and has to hit the brakes, that could cause an accident.

And, Mr. Idiot, Mrs Fussy Crankypants (aka, Grumpy Pregnant Woman) PROMISES that you do not want to make her hit you. You would EXTREMELY regret it. Mrs Fussy Crankypants has a whole TANKFUL of pent-up hormones that she does not get to vent nearly as often as she would like to via vast, long and inventive strings of invectives (that means, “bad words”) that she saves for emergency situations.

So, Mr. Idiot Who Doesn’t Know How To Drive in the Snow, the next time you are tempted to cut across five lanes of traffic because you are an idiot when it is snowy, please recall this little science lesson and be advised that you would do well to avoid at ALL COSTS forcing Grumpy Pregnant Women to broadside you.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Fussy Crankypants
aka, Grumpy Pregnant Woman

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. The Mom
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 09:05:25

    He must be from Ft. Wayne:)

    Reply

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