Sew Merry

I hate Christmas.

There now you know.

Bah. Humbug.

Every year I tell myself I’m going to start early, start getting presents early, like really early, like May and then you can parcel out the money you are spending over the better part of a year instead of ending up, 2 weeks before Christmas realizing that a) you actually don’t have the money this month (again), b) you don’t have a clue what people would really value even if you could buy it for them and c) it’s going to be “homemade and handmade” yet again.

Then you work yourself into a fevered frenzy the last week trying to make and bake something because even though you’ve told everyone you won’t be doing gifts this year, the fact remains that you feel like an awful  heel if you didn’t have at least SOMETHING to wrap and give.

Even if that something is COMPLETELY LAME and everyone will be like “uh, thaaaanksss”, yet another home/handmade craptastic gift from  Michele, who excels at craptastic, far-from-perfect and still essentially useless gift-making.

And everybody feels like Ralphy from The Christmas Story


Well, at least I don’t make them WEAR anything I make.

And so in the back of your head are all the upcoming things that you will be paying for in the next two months (car seat, midwife, doulas, birth pool, diapers, WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE???) and you are sewing LAME GIFTS like mad when what you really want to be sewing are diapers because EIGHT WEEKS is not that long (and still you have to re-configure Miles’ room to accomodate #2 as well) and you have all of ONE extra dish made and frozen so far when your list has about 8 more things that need to be made (oh, and how to fit THOSE into the grocery budget) and then you still have to go to the grocery store with your $25 for this week and suddenly your pre-schooler took out the humidifier filter when you were filling that and you realize you need a new filter and so that means a stop at Target and then said pre-schooler wants another Blue’s Clues dvd (and you  realize that YET AGAIN you’ve forgetten to get the other dvds back in time, which means MORE fines) so a stop at the library will need to happen.

And also, how in the world have you managed to get not one but two medical appointments scheduled THE WEEK OF CHRISTMAS HELLO WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?, therefore cutting into yet more time.

And you melt down at the thought of all the running around you have to do and say you hate Christmas and then your preschooler gets really upset and then you decide that you need to relax a minute so let’s read a book and on the way to the bedroom to get a book, your preschooler trips over all the toys lying on the floor and so then you snap and YELL AT HIM for no other reason than his toys are on the floor because you are AN EVIL MOM and then you feel horrible and tell your preschooler you have a headache and need to go to the bathroom for awhile and while he “picks up” his toys (aka, plays with), you go sob in the bathroom over the counter, dripping snot and mucus everywhere and SWEARING that NEXT YEAR you are cancelling Christmas FOR REAL (except for your preschooler’s gifts) so that you won’t find yourself in the same condition NEXT year, which you won’t because by then you’ll have forgotten all the misery.

At least the Christmas cards got out on time.

Merry Christmas.



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Mom
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 12:50:22

    Bringing my grandson to visit me for Christmas is all the gift I could possibly want/need:)


  2. amberlina
    Dec 21, 2010 @ 22:18:13

    And they were very cute Christmas cards at that!


  3. Emily
    Dec 24, 2010 @ 12:03:08

    Relax. Breathe. It’s all gonna be okay.


  4. Sharon
    Jan 07, 2011 @ 16:40:54

    I think I’m mailing out my cards today. Even with all you’ve got crammed onto your plate, you’re still far ahead of me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: