Self-Esteem Fail

You thought you were:




a decent person

fairly well-organized




well-read, apart from a significant weakness for mystery stories

fairly well-traveled

And then you became:

a mother

a screaming harpy

a disorganized frump




and you realize that you can’t even keep your shit together to do something that millions of women before you have done well and without a thought and without batting an eyelash with far fewer resources/food/education/experiences than you.

So how do you like you now?



I can’t settle to things on days like today. I flit from thing to thing. Unloading the dishwasher, I’ll realize that I had meant to do something else.  Go and do that and you forget about the dishwasher. Don’t go anddo it andyou forget about whatver-it-was.


Little baby bugaboo has taken a page out of his older brother’s book and decided he needs to be walked to settle during the night.

Last night he woke up every hour or more.

I feel great.

By the time I get over being cranky from sleep deprivation, I’ll be pre-menopausal and cranky. My boys will never know me as not cranky.

My poor little boys.

That makes me want to cry but then everything makes me want to cry after a night like last night.

Four years+ is a long time to go without un-interrupted sleep. I’m just sayin’.

I kinda wish I had started this parenting experiment a lot sooner.  Then maybe I would have at least had a few not-cranky years to give my boys.

Going to go make more coffee…



In the last hour before it was time to get up, not only did Ollie come and pester me AT LEAST three times, I also had THIS dream:

I had woken up and gotten up and was waiting for Little Babykins to wake up.  Before he did, I had to finish writing the quiz that I would be giving that morning to the class I was TAing in as well as study for 2 tests in 2 of my own classes and finish an assignment that I hadn’t gotten to.

MEANWHILE, as I go to clean the litter boxes, I find that Ollie has peed some kind of gelatinous yellow goo all over the floor BECAUSE BOTH litter boxes are not only full to overflowing, they are so full that the litter has melted down into a highly disgusting litter/poop/cat pee mush.

I begin to let forth several choice words and IMMEDIATELY my mom, who is getting ready to leave and go back to her house and NOT helping me for some reason, she immediately starts scolding me because Miles has copycatted the words I just said and that will NEVER DO and what am I teaching that child?!

AND I realize that I will have to drop at least one class to be able to cope with all the things I have to do.

And then I woke up.

And was VERY relieved.

Parenting Fail V. 839,849,028

When you accidentally shut your Little Guy’s hand in the car door.