Running Man

Running Man gave me a bit of a hand salute tonight as we passed each other on the road.

Running Man NEVER acknowledges the existence of another runner (and by runner, I mean, jogging at what is normally considered to be a fast walk by NORMAL people, like the Old Gray Mare who ain’t what she used to be).  I feel that I have Arrived, somehow.

Running Man is always RUNNING, like he’s being chased by someone with a machete (alTHO, I’m not sure how fast you should actually run if you were holding a machete, because it doesn’t seem terribly safe, does it? running with a machete, I mean).  Running Man runs like Chuck Norris being chased by someone with a machete (except that would never actually happen because Chuck Norris wouldn’t have to run because a) he would pulverize the machete with the laser-like beams of his bad-ass stare and b) once the guy with the machete realized that he was a) chasing Chuck Norris and b) that Chuck Norris just obliterated his machete using only his eyes, he himself would turn and run–a few paces before Chuck Norris took him out using only his little finger.  So in reality, what I should say is that Running Man runs as fast as Chuck Norris chasing the guy who tried to go after him with a machete. of course, that chase would only last about 3.7 nano-seconds because Chuck Norris is just that fast.)

So anyway. Pretty cool about Running Man AND I was at the beginning of my run so I wasn’t puffing like a steam engine or something super-not-cool like that.

And did I mention that Running Man always runs shirtless?  And that he’s ripped?

I, on the other hand, will never be ripped because I have had babies, you see.

BUT.  Dear Running Man, I have popped out babies without even THINKING about an epidural (ok, SERIOUSLY thinking about an epidural. at least until it was too late to get one. and by then you are just about done anyway so why bother?). Despite your ripped abs and fast runninging, I BET you couldn’t do that and I BET most men couldn’t.

Except Chuck Norris. OF COURSE.

But thanks for making me feel like a real runner.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. The Mom
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 06:29:26

    🙂

    Reply

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