Things my Husband Will Never Experience

 

 

1. Taking a dump with an audience nearly every day.

 

2. Getting dressed with an audience nearly every day.

 

3. That trying to work while you are the main caretaker of your children is like being constantly poked, prodded and hair-pulled by chimpanzees and that 30 seconds is not nearly long enough to sustain the concentration needed to complete a task. any task, really.

 

unless you are taking a dump.  because then you are just trying to get out of the bathroom and lose your audience as fast as possible.

Late Summer

 

 

 

Just on principle, I am opposed to praise songs. But right now, an album a friend recorded is playing. It’s the two-year-old’s favorite music.  So for me, it’s like having my friend give a mini-concert in my living room (albeit, again and again and again and…).

 

And the afternoon sun is slanting in the sky with that feel, that particular atmosphere of Fall-on-it’s-Way.

 

Cicadas are whirring, the five-year-old coming back in the house, nose stuck in a book.

 

I have a fall-ubiquitous pumpkin-flavored latte to hand.

 

The two-year-old’s playtime toy–a bag of rice–is spread out all over the floor.

 

Nonetheless, this is one of those vignettes I’d like to bottle up, to paint, to record, to add to my memories of other Late Summer poignancies.

9.3

 

 

Toddler, meet  tower fan.

 

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Female parental unit, meet $50 paper weight.

WAHM

After a long day of getting kids up, preparing breakfast, cleaning up breakfast, dressing the 2 year old, packing extra sets of clothes, prepping picnic lunches, loading up kids, unloading, playing in the creek, ensuring kids don’t drown/hit other playmate with rocks/don’t slip down the steep bank, eat lunch, wrangle back into car, come home, prep snacks, prep dinner, prep dinner, prep dinner, pick up living room, clear off playdo/toys/books from the dining table, eat dinner, get kids ready for bed, go for a quick run, get kids into bed nothing much, I love to kick back, relax and put away food, clean up from dinner, pick up toys and do the work I get paid for  just take it easy.

8.27: Observations on a day

 

 

The 2 year old thinks its  a good idea to nurse all day.  And in between times to use his toolbox toys on your legs and ankles.

 

I get frustrated by all the clutter that amasses on the 5 year old’s side of the table and slowly creeps over the rest. And then I look at the stack of books at my own place (the apple….as they say….)

 

The pace of my evening run is to the mental accompaniment of Where Is Thumbkin?

 

There are pint-sized chair on top of the train table  Who knows why?

 

The two year old is eating butter straight.  He may need a butter intervention.

 

Every single outing requires water, snacks, adequate clothing, sweaters for super-chilled retail environments, multiple adjurations for using the potty and getting shoes on